Kidneys are great things. They clean our blood. But when they stop working, that’s when life could become hell for picky eaters. Why I hate having chronic kidney disease (CKD) is because it means my kidneys cannot clean out the protein from my blood. And how exactly does protein get in our blood? Hamburgers, that’s how. But hamburgers aren’t the only source of protein in our blood. You can also get protein from pizza. Most of all, that comes from the diary product called “extra cheese!” Then there is chicken, fried, grilled and barbecued. What about hot dogs? Yes, mmmm, mmmm. But basically, what I’m struggling with and hating is the fact I can’t grill myself up 3-4 of my favorite garlicy onion filled home style burgers on any given night I want. I can’t eat eight slices of pizza at one sitting. In case you’re wondering, that’s how many slices are in a large Little Ceaser’s pepperoni pizza. Oh man!

And one of my favorite things to consume that has way too much protein for me now is milk. I love milk. I hate having chronic kidney disease. Two things couldn’t be more diametrically opposed. Milk is filled with protein and failing kidneys can’t clean it out of our system. I used to drink milk with my two slices of buttered toast, multiple times each day. I used to consume multiple bowls of cereal a day. Now days, I’ve tried to cut the milk with 50% water. That doesn’t taste so great on corn flakes. I’ve heard there is a solution for that and it’s called “non fat dairy creamer.” What????? Eat my cereal using dairy creamer instead of milk?

I’ve looked at Almond milk ice cream bars instead of real ice cream bars. Then of course, there are red peppers. When I first found out about the benefits of red peppers, I tried making and eating a red pepper egg white omelet. Talk about bland. The only thing good about that red pepper egg white omelet was that it was food and took up some space in my stomach. I think that same day I had a few bowls of apple sauce too. That’s when I took the low protein diet thing seriously. I haven’t done so lately. And I’ll probably need a kidney transplant a lot sooner because of that.

I have been going to Whataburger and Sonic and and even eating pizza. I had two slices today. I’ve not been eating the greatest even after I found out that a new kidney costs over a quarter of a million dollars. You know how many hamburgers that could buy?

Will I follow my grandfather’s example and just not do dialysis when it comes to the time when I need it?He was so much older than I am. He chose not to do it and died weeks or months after making that decision.

I’ve read that a low protein diet is used to put off the need for dialysis, to preserve the kidneys. But once they’re shot and you need dialysis, you need extra protein. I hope that’s true. That’ll mean White Castle hamburgers every day, going to Mama’s & Daughters Diner and getting a burger and ordering another for dessert, two or three pizzas a week from Lushaj’s, Little Ceaser’s and Rosati’s up in Flower Mound.

Oh my, I’m so conflicted. Do I want to put off the need for dialysis and eat so little protein I shrivel up to the size of a dried prune, or get to dialysis fast so I can consume extra protein? Maybe I need some moderation. Yep, that’s probably what I’ll try.