There are multiple steps to creating a Chicago Cubs fan. Allow me to go over those for you here.
The first step to creating a Chicago Cubs fan is pretty simple. A man and woman simply need to have some sexual desire. As a Christian, I would say this should be between a husband and a wife. And seeing that the Chicago Cubs are rarely in the playoffs and never in the World Series, these two facts ensure that Chicago Cubs fans have more time than most baseball fans to procreate.
The second step to creating a Chicago Cubs fan is surrounding said future fan with everything Cubs. A Chicago Cubs pacifier and onesie when they are extremely young will help start them off right. Then, before their first T-Ball game, a baseball glove with a facsimile autograph of a Cubs player is appropriate (or this glove will do). As for my son, I found a Ryne Sandberg glove in Amarillo a few months before he was born. I didn’t know he’d wind up a lefty, rendering the glove useless. Talking all about your favorite Cubs memories is also helpful and a great way to surround your future Cubs fan with anything and everything Cubs, especially if any of your favorite memories contain ancient playoff appearances.
The third step to creating a Chicago Cubs fan is simply raising them to be a person of faith. The definition of faith as seen in the Bible is this: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” That definition comes from the 11th chapter of Hebrews. Being a Cubs fan is being a person of faith. Tell me what Cubs fan is not sure of what they hope for. All Cubs fans want to see their team win the World Series. And what about that second half of the biblcial meaning of faith “… certain of what we do not see?” Every Cubs fan alive today is absolutely certain they have never seen the Chicago Cubs win the World Series.
Whether or not the third step to creating a Chicago Cubs fan is necessary or just happens is up for debate. A more serious question should be raised. Should we as parents raise our sons and daughters to be Cubs fans, relegating them to a life of disappointment and heart break? I think that is something we should seriously pray about.
And just in case you’re wondering about those Chicago Cubs pacifiers or onesies, take a look at what I found on Amazon.
